A year from tomorrow, January 5, 2011, a troubled student named Robert Butler Jr. came into Millard South with a gun with muddled intentions of violence. The school was on code red, and two assistant principles were shot. Dr. Curtis Case was hurt, but survived. Dr. Vicki Kaspar was rushed but died on the way to the hospital. The school was on code red for hours. Around 230 or 3ish, classes were escorted out towards the back parking lot, and students were safe and sound with their parents. Robert Butler Jr. commited suicide after leaving the school.
I was one of those hundreds of students hiding within that school. We weren't told anything during the code red. My class hid in the dark for hours before getting a call about the news about Dr. Kaspar and Dr. Case. That day was... indescribable. The whole time, we had no idea what was going on, or if someone could come in to our room and try to hurt us. All we knew was the school was not safe at the moment. We were in potential danger at the time, and the only thing we could do was sit and wait. Not a lot of people know what it's like to hear someone is in the same building as you with a gun with the intentions of hurting someone with it. Not a lot of people know what it's like to feel like you're world has been tilted out of order because a place you expected to be safe, wasn't. Scared doesn't come close to describing how I felt that day. For hours, I sat(sometimes laid) there numb of thoughts at times and others racing with worries and fears. I will never be able to explain the shock I felt when I realized that this is actually happening to me. When thinking that a shooting in your school could never happen, was no longer the truth. I could never accurately explain the emotions and the thoughts of mine or my fellow students as we waited in silence. No one dared to speak. In my classroom, there was no service, so we could not contact anyone out of the room. I could never explain what is was like to be isolated from the rest of the world outside of the building and at times just outside our room. I could never quite tell anyone how I felt to hear the words, "CODE RED. This. Is. Not. A. Drill." It's hard to explain how I felt when we were told Dr. Kaspar and Dr. Case was shot and that Dr. Kaspar had died. Sometimes it's just hard to think about.
I may not have actually met Dr. Kaspar, but she was a part of my school. She died for what she believed in, and that's so inspiring. Her death, and her sacrifice, and that day, brought our school together stronger than ever. Two days later, our first day back since the shooting (our second day of school that semester), we all waited in the front of the school to walk in together as a school at 7:30 a.m. We had vigil ceremonies. We showed our pride. The first day back was emotional and numb at the same time. Tuesday was Dr. Kaspar's funeral and the whole school was invited. We were let off of school for the funeral. For me, her funeral made it more real. I realized that she truly was a hero. That only a brave person would stand up and continue to do her job. The choir department raised money to have a song composed in dedication of Dr. Kaspar. It was premiered at the spring concert in March by the Varsity Choir. It's called the You Are the Fearless Rose by Randall Stroope. A plaque was placed by the conference room in the main entrance closed to where she was shot. There is also a plaque on the seat she seemed to always sit in the auditorium during concerts. I will never be able to explain how we healed, or really how long it took, because I just honestly don't know.
Tomorrow is the one year anniversary. It's the exact date and our first day back. I'm sure we will all enter the school together just as we did last year. We are also having a moment of silence for Dr. Kaspar. I have not in depth thought about this day since it happened. I will always take the words "Code Red" seriously and to heart. I will never forget the look on my teacher's face as she choked to tell us Dr. Kaspar had passed. You Are the Fearless Rose by Randall Stroope will never fail to give me goosebumps and chills. I will always remember that anything could happen to anyone at anytime like that day. It honestly scares me to go back to school, but I know I have to in memory of Dr. Kaspar and because as a Patriot, it's my duty to show my pride and be there to comfort my fellow students on this hard day.
I'll never forget that day. I'll never forget Dr. Kaspar, but if I could talk to her right now, I would tell her, "I'm one of the many students you swore to protect that day, and you have inspired me. I feel pain for your family and for you. I wish we had the chance to meet, and for you to see me graduate because you were more than just a teacher or a principal. You cared for all of us, even though you did not know us al, and for that, Thank you."
Rest In Peace Dr. Vicki Kaspar
You will never be forgotten.
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